My very first blog post was written when Olive was three months old. It is charged with the emotions that were so overwhelming and all too consuming of that major time in all of our lives. We had gotten our heads around the situation a bit, but we still had so many unknowns. In all honesty, the Kizzie who wrote that first post expected so much more difficulty than has actually ever risen.
I thought I'd have more to write about. I expected to find things with Olive harder than I'd ever imagined. I anticipated writing about a lot more medical aspects.
But truth be told, the last four and a bit years have been much easier than those expectations I had in my head. The largest reason for this is because of who Olive is. Nothing to do with her nevus, but her as a person. She showed us from day dot that she was a feisty little girl with a zest for life and a crazy sense of humour to boot. She made it easy for us to enjoy her as our last baby without her difference dominating her. She's never let it hold her back, and I don't imagine she ever will.
I don't like to blow my own trumpet, but I also believe that it has been easier because of our acceptance as well. We accepted very early on that Olive looked different to most people, and we decided to be open and honest. I remember when she was first born and Eddie didn't want me putting any photos up of her back. He did not want her exploited in any way, and I totally understood his stance. After many of our late night chats and crying sessions, we ended up agreeing to post a photo to remove the 'unknown'. To eliminate any assumptions perhaps made and to stop any shock reactions for Olive herself from people who knew her. It was the best decision we made.
Every one of my friends and family has been so supportive and encouraging - cheering Oli on from the sidelines and doing the same with us as her parents. You've all been so fantastic when I ask for advice, giving me constructive criticism in how to deal with some of the situations that have arisen and putting a different spin on things for me to think about if I am doubting myself/us. YOU have all made this easier for us as well. My 'village' has kept me going.
It's just under two months now until my baby turns five and heads out into a whole new world again. The idea of Olive starting school is just a bit scary, I'm not gonna lie! It's another world of people to get to know and accept her again, and another world for her to find her place in. She's already been edging her way in there, saying hello to teachers and students when we wait for Meisha, and making friends at kindy who will then go on to be in her class at school.
But there's still a whole bunch of new kids who don't know her, and who haven't seen a nevus. So we intend to lead the way as we have always done with our Oli and be upfront and open straight away. We will talk to her new teacher and discuss the best strategy for removing any 'mystery' around her nevus - whether that be chatting with the kids and telling them or just waiting for the questioning situation to arise, I'm not sure yet. But we got this. Olive's got this. She's a bolshy and straight up kinda gal, and I have every confidence that she has what it takes to deal with what may come up.
Five years old is still pretty small, mind you. I look at her a lot and think, 'nooo, you're too little to start school!' She's still my squishy, my little sidekick, my baby. But these are my insecurities and nothing to do with her as a person. She is well ready for school. She's smart, clever, funny, friendly. She's learning to write and count. She loves to be independent. I know she will thrive even more once she is there.
And yet, this is the end of an era for our family. I will no longer have pre-schoolers. Soon I'll be the Mum of three school-aged children. No more kindy, ever. No more Fridays at home with me. No more Plunket checks. No more 'under 5's free'! Haha! No more stay-at-home Mum really - who am I home for?!
This is also going to mark the end of my blog. I've decided I will do one more post when she turns five and then I'm packing it in. I want to give her the privacy she deserves now she is getting older and is now more aware of the world around her and is learning to be her own advocate. Oh I know, I will be her advocate and biggest supporter until the end of days, but I think as a blossoming young girl she deserves to not have mum hash out her challenges on social media anymore. This is the beginning of her taking on the world herself, and if she wants to write about it when she is older, then she can.
Otherwise, she will always have this to reflect on her First Five Years of us getting to know our amazing, beautiful, quirky, hilarious, quick-witted, clever Olive Marie.