Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life.
- Robin Sharma
It's that time again, when the passing of time farewells one year and welcomes another. It's a time of reflection, and one of projection for what you have achieved and accomplished. A time for resolutions and goal setting, and remembering the moments of the year prior.
I recently said to mum that I couldn't believe it was December already and I felt like I had nothing to "show" for 2022, that I hadn't achieved anything. Mum turned and said, "Kiz, you've raised 3 children on your own. You've held down your job and found a new house. You've grieved your dad and you've helped your children through their grief".
It's easy to think that because you haven't achieved some sort of status on paper or reached the attainment of what you set out to do at the beginning of the year that it means you have failed. But this just isn't so. Every day we live, we learn. And if we are open to these spiritual and emotional learnings we are in fact, attaining life skills that cannot be found any other way. The way I view it, is our difficult times are our lessons presented and we can choose to embrace these lessons so as to grow as people, as souls. The happy times, the easy times, are the chocolate fish you get for participating in and completing the lessons. Life as an adult is rough. Sometimes it feels like lesson after lesson and you don't know when you'll get a break, when the universe will recognise the effort and attention you are putting in. And sometimes you have to reward yourself and choose to smile, laugh and embrace happiness. It doesn't always just happen.
The last few new years I have resolved to not make any resolutions (except for last year when I resolved to learn to do a cartwheel. No, I didn't learn. No, I probably won't. Don't come at me!), and to just BE in the moment and enjoy the time with my people.
The death of my precious Dad 8 weeks ago has made me reevaluate that recent tradition of no resolution. It's a difficult thing, grief. Especially when it is someone so exceptionally special like your parent. You've literally spent your entire life with them in it. You wouldn't be here without them. You wouldn't be you without their teachings, their input, their experience. And then suddenly the world is a different place without them in it. And you have to learn to do life without them, without their love, their energy. I've been through a lot in my life but this has to be the hardest and most painful. I miss him every single day and would give anything for just one more day with my Dad.
So this year I've decided to do things a little different. I'm making this year mine. A year of personal growth and personal achievements. Of putting me first. All while choosing happiness, and learning the lessons presented. I want to be able to get to new years at the end of 2023 and say I've tried my absolute best...consciously. And utterly fucking slayed it.
Because amongst the pain my heart has endured and will for a long time to come, I've been given some amazing gifts this year, and reminded of some I was given a long time ago. I was blessed with the most amazing children, the most incredible and loving family (long time friends included).
So I raise my glass tonight to the special person I've lost this year, my one of a kind Dad, and to new beginnings and blessings...with some amazingly beautiful people by my side ❤️
I wish you all a prosperous and fulfilled 2023. So as my dad would say every new years day, Happy New Years my lovelies 💖
