Reading through my previous December posts, it seems an end of year reflection is the theme. So, in an effort to keep with tradition, here is this year's. Each year for the last 3-4 at least, seems to have presented itself in such a turmoil of difficult and amazing events and situations. Twenty eighteen has been no different.

 We gained a new beautiful little soul in the form of a darling wee boy called George - my nephew. He's almost 3 months now and is the sweetest little baby. Him and his big sister Zoe bring so much joy and happiness to our lives!

 One of the huge things we've been going through this year in particular, is my Dads health. Our concerns came to a head when he was diagnosed with dementia. We've had to make big changes and take on the caregiver role for him. Unfortunately, this is an ongoing situation and won't get 'better'. I would love to write more about our experience with Dad and this awful disease but I'm not going to as it's not my story to tell so publicly. But I will say, it is definitely taxing and so very emotional - but we wouldn't have it any other way and we try our absolute best to keep dad happy and safe. So far, our goals of those two things are being met.

 I'm finally in remission with my crohns, thanks to a wonderful gastroenterologist and being eligible for the drug Humira. After a good couple of years of feeling like utter shit, long may it last I say!

 Olive is doing amazing at her new school. She is thriving both socially and academically. I actually can't believe she will be a middle schooler next year. She seems too little to be a year 3!

 We also have big starts ahead for the coming year with our two big kids. Meisha is off to intermediate and Jaxon is off to high school. I can't help feeling a bit old realising their life stages now.

 We lost some very very dear people this year, some who I've written about previously. My cousin Debbie passed away in August suddenly. I wanted to end this post with what I read at her funeral, because first, I want Deb to know I think of her all the time, and second, because she was a mother who loved her children fiercely and I want to acknowledge that again as we come into the first Christmas without her. It will be a "First Christmas without" for many people this year, and I want those people to know that I'm thinking of you all and sending you loads of love.

Merry Christmas everyone x

 Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us; our bodies are only the wilted leaves on the tree of life.

 Albert Einstein gave us these words, and their sentiment rings true today as we farewell our beautiful Debbie.  

Deb was not only a devoted and loving mum to her gorgeous children, she always had loads of love to give and a laugh to be had.  I remember as kids we used to stay with her and her kids when we came to Matamata. I adored her. I loved her lifestyle, her ease, her sense of humour. I looked up to her and I remember thinking that one day I wanted to be just like her.  

 As I got older and less willing to do anything with my mother, I didn't see our matamata cousins anywhere near as much. But even though the visits were further and few between,  Deb always opened her house to us if we came down.  She always made us feel welcome and was always in for an inappropriate comment and giggle.  I can still hear her laugh and see her smile in my mind. 

 Although a huge part of us staying in touch more recently was through Facebook,  Deb never failed to support me from afar when we went through hard times in our family - and we've had a rough run the last few years! But I would often get messages from Debbie sending me love and encouragement or just having a laugh. 

 There's no words adequate enough to describe the void now in our world without Debbie. It will just never be the same. Her laugh, her smile,  her love - her beautiful soul will be missed way beyond measure and she will never ever be forgotten.  Rest in peace my sweet cousin. Love you x