You know those days you have with your toddler, where right from the moment they wake you up at some ridiculous hour, to the moment they fight you to sleep, everything is a battle? They tip their Weetbix on the floor and smear Marmite toast into the carpet. They tip water over your books, and eat the cat food. They figure out how to climb the fireplace, and how to hang from the bath rail. They refuse to wear clothes, and take bites out of every piece of fruit in the fruitbowl. They hop back in the bath once they're dried with pyjama's on, and they like to make phone calls without your knowledge, often to 111.
I'd like to carry on saying that these are one off days but in reality, this is my life. The Terrible Two's. Which start at one, and end at five. When your child suddenly realises that they don't need Mum for everything, that they have some choice in their life. So they choose. And they choose the most frustrating and messy choices they could ever choose.
And guess who has to pick up after them? U-huh....Mum.

And so although you may not like to admit it ("oh heeell no, my life doesn't revolve around my children"), fact is, your entire world is now dictated by this tiny being who has a meltdown if you don't let them wear their shoes on the wrong feet, but is overjoyed at running away at bathtime.

You spend every waking moment trying to supervise every task and when you think you can quickly sneak off to the bathroom, you return a minute or two later to a mess (generally in our case it is the kitty litter tipped up or milk she's tried to pour herself) that takes up MORE time to clean up, by which time they have started up in another quest to decorate the house.

So if you've been through this stage, you know exactly what I mean when I say, I need a break.
It's not that I don't love my kids. In fact, its the total opposite - I love my kids so much that I put everything into them, rarely leaving any energy for me to focus on myself. By the time bedtime rolls around each night, all I want is to mung out in front of the tele in a little bubble and ignore the world.

So I'm at that point where I just cant wait to have the night off in 2 weeks for our 1st wedding anniversary. I will jump at any opportunity to have 5 minutes quiet time. So when I realised I needed coconut cream for dinner, I thought YES! I need to go to the dairy! (How sad is that?)

So I yelled 'BYE!' to the husband and kids, jumped in the car, and put it into reverse. Then I looked up to see wee Olive standing at the {locked} door, peering out and grinning. I wound down the window and could hear her yelling 'Lullooo Mummy!! Byyyeee Mummy!!! Lulloooooo!' and blowing smoochy kisses off her chubby hand while the other smeared some crap all over the glass.

And that makes it all worth it. Every ounce of frustration and annoyance that comes with being a parent is taken back in the knowledge that this small child trusts, that even after all of those hair-tearing incidents, you love them no matter what. To the moon and back.

My babies are my world. My life DOES revolve around them. Everything I do, is for them. In my last post I mentioned our goal to go take our family to Australia for the next nevus conference. This is in January 2015, and it is extremely important to us. It is not only important for my children and ourselves to meet others who walk a similar road, but it is invaluable for the information we can acquire for Olive's health down the track. With this information, and support from international organisations, we can also take the next step in building an officially recognised charity organisation in New Zealand for CMN. If anybody would like to donate to help us achieve our goal, you can do so by visiting https://www.givealittle.co.nz/cause/oliveschance. Please do not feel obliged to do so by any means, even sharing the page will be just as much help.

Thank you everybody for your continued support, it means the world to our family.